Three Things I Have Learned Recently

If you’ve been following along with this blog recently, you’ll know that I made a commitment to learn more about racism as a means to combat it in my own life. One of the ways I’ve begun to do this is by watching more content by black creators on YouTube, and from that I have learned three main things so far.

Before I get into to the things themselves, I want to add a caveat that I’m aware this is only the tip of the iceberg and obviously I still don’t know a great deal even about the three things listed below, so it’s entirely possible I will get things wrong and I encourage you to merely use this as a jumping-off point for looking into things yourself. (Also, if you do spot an error please let me know!)

I’m gonna share a little about these things not for some weird kind of self-congratulatory reason (because, honestly, I’m ashamed I didn’t know about them before, not patting myself on the back for finally starting to catch up) but to pass on the knowledge to anyone else who might not know.

But enough preamble. Here are the goods:

What Happened in Tulsa

Tulsa is a city in Oklahoma. The Greenwood district had the wealthiest black community in the United States and was known as “Black Wall Street.” That was until 1921, when mobs of white residents took to the streets, murdered many* black people, injured many more, and destroyed homes and black-owned businesses. It has been called “the single worst incident of racial violence in American history.” AND – just to add insult to injury – it is mostly left out of history textbooks and high school classrooms. If and when someone tries to tell you racism isn’t a real thing, tell them about Tulsa.

*The numbers seem to be a little unclear, and apparently there were a few white people killed, too.

What Juneteenth Is

The anniversary of June 19th 1865 (now known as ‘Juneteenth’) is a day of celebration for black emancipation, but it was not in fact when slavery was legally abolished in the USA. This was just when, two-and-a-half years after it got outlawed, news of the change in law finally reached Texas and was put into effect there. Because Texas was the furthest the news had to travel, it was the last state in which slaves were liberated.

Though, actually, on this note: it is important to recognise that a disproportionate number of black people are arrested and unfairly put in the prison system (for things that white people ordinarily get away with, as well as legitimately for no reason at all), which requires them to use their incarceration time completing unpaid labour. So it can be argued that, in this way, slavery still continues to this day.

(In editing this post and having it looked over by an American friend, I am reliably informed that prior to this very summer of 2020 when Trump started making plans to have a rally in Tulsa on Juneteenth, the term Juneteenth was not widely known about even by many Americans outside of Texas.)

Colorism is a Thing

We all know that racism is discrimination based on the colour of someone’s skin, with people of black and brown skin tone often being the ones discriminated against. There is a whole debate on whether white people can be subject to racism but I am not getting into that. I personally feel like the argument does a lot to take the focus away from what matters most, which is that day in and day out, black people are losing their lives, homes, and careers over such injustices.

(Note from my editor friend, which I feel better explains what I’m trying to say in the point above: “It is a semantic distinction. Nobody argues that white people cannot be discriminated against based on their race, but many scholars use prejudice or discrimination to describe that and keep ‘racism’ for the institutionalized prejudice against minorities.”)

At any rate, colorism is a phenomenon in which black people with lighter skin will face less racism than black people with a darker complexion. Generally, the darker your skin is, the more discrimination you will face, with people who can ‘pass’ for white experiencing the least of all. (Please note, this is a generalisation and there will of course be exceptions to the rule!)

Something to watch out for is when companies try and include a black person in their marketing to make themselves appear more inclusive/diverse, the black person they pick will often be light-skinned. If you’re only having your eyes opened to this for the first time now, you might be startled to discover that it’s actually pretty common. I ask you to dig a little into who is behind the marketing campaigns (Google is your friend) and question such things publicly (even if it’s just on Twitter).

In the meantime, I’d be interested to hear about what you may have learned recently in the comment section below.

This Affects You

This is the t.shirt I bought. It’s available on Etsy here.

I didn’t want to make this post. I’m worried it’s a bit of a disaster, in terms of flow/coherency, but I can’t let that hold me back. The topic is too important. You may be a white person reading this who will want to click off, or scroll on past when you realise this is another anti-racism post, but stick with me here because this is about you.

I’m ashamed to say I posted my support of the Black Lives Matter movement here on this blog last week, and I considered myself done. I wondered how long it would be before I could get back to ‘normal.’ Business as usual.

THAT is my white privilege raising its head, and I’m sorry. I should be better than that. I WILL be better than that, going forward. That’s a promise. If I’m exhausted by everything happening in the world right now (and I am), I can only imagine what it’s like for Black people who have to face this every day. This is their normal, they can’t escape it, and that needs to change.

So, that’s up to me. I am done being part of the problem.

Here’s a thing I learnt this week that I’ve never thought of before: racism is a white issue. (I really can’t believe I was so ignorant to only just realise this. I am so sorry.)

Yes, it affects non-white people the world over, but we white people invented it and we are the ones who need to stop it. We’re the only ones who actually can stop it, because we’re the ones with the power.

You can turn away and pretend it’s not your fight, but that won’t change the fact that you have a responsibility.

On that note, if you want to do something but aren’t sure where to start, read this post by Kandise Le Blanc.

As for myself, I won’t be going back to ‘normal.’ Alongside my donation to the NAACP, I will be wearing my brand new Black Lives Matter t.shirt publicly (no matter how uncomfortable it may make some people – including myself – or if it gets me shit), I will be more vocal in challenging my friends and family in their problematic opinions, and I will be lifting up more black voices here on this blog.

If you are a person of colour and want to have your say here, please get in touch and I’ll set you up with some kind of guest post. An interview, or profile, or something. We can chat.

I don’t want this online space to only mention black issues just when everyone else is already talking about them. The issues don’t vanish when the media moves on to something else, so I’m gonna make an effort to talk about them more regularly so that they don’t slip out of the spotlight/get swept back under the carpet.

Three posts coming soon you can look forward to:

  • 10 Black Book Recommendations
  • 10 Books by Black Authors on my TBR
  • A post in celebration of Malorie Blackman

If you have more ideas for things I can do, I’m more than willing to listen. I’m here to learn. Are you with me?

Rage Against the Machine

I’m white and I’m scared.

You might read that statement and jump to the conclusion that I’m nervous about my whiteness getting “discriminated” against or some such bullshit. I understand the assumption – there’s a lot of that about – but it’s just that: bullshit.

I’m not scared of black people fighting for their rights, I’m scared for them. So many lives are being lost and it’s all because fucking white people don’t like skin coming in any other fucking colour?! Is that any reason to murder people? What the fuck is wrong with the cops? THEY are who I’m scared of. The government is who I fear.

I’m white and I’m angry.

This should not be happening. Solidarity with my black and brown brothers and sisters. I’m so sorry you’re being hunted.


If you’re reading this and are as scared and angry and sorry as I am about the injustice that’s going on right now, and has been going on for decades centuries already, here’s three things you can do:

  1. Listen: Watch this video of a poem by Anesu Mtowa, to get a black perspective on what’s happening.
  2. Educate Yourself: Check out this Twitter thread containing videos of protests that the media aren’t showing. Black and brown people not looting, or destroying anything, but peacefully! standing their ground. In a lot of cases, fires are being started and windows are being smashed by racists so that the black protesters are blamed.
  3. Make Your Mark: Here is a Twitter thread of relevant petitions you can sign, demanding justice for a number of black people killed/threatened/abused and/or wrongly jailed by police.

On Being Privileged

Life is complex and often full of contradictions. I think most people accept this on some intellectual level but, when faced with a single fact or data point, it can be all too easy to jump from it to one conclusion and then the next without stopping to ponder what alternatives might exist as part of a more nuanced story.

That’s a lot of big words to express what perhaps seems a lofty idea, so let me give you a realistic example to truly get to the heart of what I’m talking about: in my previous post, What I Make As a Writer, I broke down the facts and figures of how I’ve survived as a disabled self-employed person so far. On the one hand, I have had to manage on welfare payments. On the other hand, I talk about having lived rent-free with my parents while I got on my feet.

Receiving welfare is, in some ways, a privilege because – while necessary for basic survival – it’s not something open to everyone in need for a myriad of reasons. Compared to the people who need it but can’t access it, we’re lucky. Yet, at the same time, we’re unfortunate to need it in the first place.

Living with my parents sounds like a more clear-cut thing. Yes, my existence there was rent-free. In some ways, that gave me financial freedom. But not when you understand what a toxic, neglectful, and downright abusive environment that place was. Most weeks, I had £10 to live on. Ten pounds to call my own after I paid the minimum amount off my credit card and student overdraft. An overdraft I was privileged to get in the first place, get disadvantaged enough to need. Continue reading

Thoughts on #OwnVoices

I am a bi/pansexual person with non-visible disabilities. Five years ago, I hadn’t come to accept either of those things about myself. In the first case, I was repressed, and in the second I was ignorant.

Ten years ago, not only was I not the feminist I am now, I was very vocal against certain rights for women. (Yes, I hated myself. It’s a potted history.)

Do you know what helped? For the most part, educational Tumblr posts.

Seriously. From the more liberal parts of the internet I not only learned some pretty key things about myself, but also a level of self-acceptance I had never experienced before.

As I hope these points illustrate, talking about issues outside of the ‘norm’ helps real-life people in real ways. Whether it regards race, sexual orientation, disability, disfigurement, or anything else.

Perhaps ‘issues outside the norm’ isn’t the best way to word that, but I can’t think of a better alternative.* Part of the problem regarding said issues is that the terms have become politicised. People don’t always have the right words. Other people get offended. It becomes a bit of a shitshow and the main points get lost.

A prime example of this has been the recent Twitter drama regarding the ‘Own Voices’ movement. Continue reading

Helena Brockovich (Flash Fiction)

At Writers’ Group a while ago, we did an exercise that consisted of a series of prompts –

Characters: A Kitchen Maid and a Retired Judge
Traits: Corrupt, Congenial
Sense: Smell
Location: Dog Show
Object: Piece of Flint

Below is the piece of flash fiction I wrote. Credit goes to David for the title. The reference should become clear at the end, where I will give a bit of extra context.

Helena was a kitchen maid for a big house on the other side of town. Usually a congenial soul, on this day she had to drag out her inner badass and go to war.

As she said goodbye to her sickly kids, hoping their condition wouldn’t deteriorate while she was gone, she mentally prepared herself for the confrontation, using the sight of them sat there, listless and suffering as motivation for her task.

Crossing over to the rich side of town, she passed her employers house and kept walking until she reached the dog track. There was a ‘Best of Breed’ show on for all the pedigree pooches of the neighbourhood, and she’d been told the judge would be there.

Sure enough, she found him in the front row, mercifully unattended.

Helena approached and he smiled at her, so she gave him the speech – a four-minute pre-prepared rant, that didn’t stop for pauses or interruptions, about the state of living conditions on the poorer side of town.

When Helena was done, she handed the judge a lunch box, which he opened and then immediately closed again, throwing it away as he swore at her.

Although he’d managed to throw the box quite a distance, they could both still smell the item strongly. All pleasantries had gone from the judge’s demeanour as he demanded an explanation.

Helena said it was a sample of her front yard, which had become flooded and, subsequently, contaminated with the local water. Which just proved her point: the water in the poor side of Flint, Michigan, was undrinkable. Unfit for the ground, and most certainly toxic to people.

The judge frowned before hesitantly agreeing to look into the matter, hinting that things would be sped along if Helena made a donation to his office.

It took her a month of working extra shifts, but she made the money and sent it off to the address he had written out for her.

It was only after that she found out that the judge was retired and had no influence in local matters anymore.

Not the happiest story in the world but, sadder still, it is based on a real-life situation. If you haven’t heard about the Flint water crises, you can (and should) read about it here. Education is power, after all.