Things I am actively trying to do, big and small, in no particular order:

1. Learning how to curl my hair
2. How to do my make-up well, and consistently
3. How not to make the world a worse place
4. How to make the world a better place?
5. How to complete this art degree
6. How to find a job/how to make money/how to support myself/how to stop my partner drowning in financial responsibility
7. How to show my partner all the love in my heart (shut up, I know it’s corny, I don’t care!)
8. How to be an artist
9. How to “find myself” (yes, it’s cliché, but it’s also a struggle. It makes the list)
10. How to write again
11. How to finish this damn novel
12. How to get people to read my work
13. How to get people to *engage* with my work
14. How to make an impact
15. How to live a good life
16. (Re)learn French
17. Learn Igbo
18. How to figure out what that means and juggle it all and not crumble under the pressure

…

Wish me luck?

Here, in the so-called western world—in the UK. In the US—when you say, “you tried,” it has unspoken context. “You tried,” translates to, “You tired—you ultimately failed—but you put in a little effort. We’ll grudgingly give you that.”

Not so in Nigeria! I can’t speak for the rest of Africa, because of course I can’t, but when a Nigerian* says, “you tried,” what they mean is, “Hey, you did your best, well done.”

I definitely prefer this outlook better. It’s the one I’m trying to take forward in my whole “Trial and Ellie” life experiment.

You can decide for yourself which camp my efforts fall into. (Though if it’s the former, maybe don’t tell me? At least not yet.)

 

*Upon re-reading this, it occurs to me that I perhaps shouldn’t assume this “worldview” is common among all Nigerians. Maybe it’s just my Nigerian. Regardless, you get the point.